this too shall pass

My second and third embroidered items… motivational phrases for myself.

This too shall pass and Effort + reward (intentionally not ‘effort = reward’, because they’re not always equal! But they do go together). Both are now in 4×6″ frames, hanging in the lounge room:

You may wonder how “this too shall pass” is motivational but the phrase has an interesting history. It has a past in Persian poetry, Jewish folklore, Turkish folklore, and I quite like this quote where Abraham Lincoln included the phrase: “It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence, to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words: ‘And this, too, shall pass away’. How much it expresses! How chastening in the hour of pride! How consoling in the depths of affliction!”

I am in the depths of affliction, in my own way, and I seek solace in that phrase. I’m still seeking a cure (and perhaps an answer) for my chronic headaches, the 24/7 headaches that have been with me for the past 3.5 years. I’ve sought help from chiropractor, neurologist, neuromuscular dentist, ear & nose & throat specialist, physiotherapist, pain management doctor, and now pilates.

The pain management doctor has been seeing me for a month (and injecting anaesthetic into various muscles to try force them to relax… that’s a whole other level of pain), he believes I have an overproductive adrenaline system and an overreactive/overly sensitive pain system. He mentioned fibromyalgia at the last appointment but it’s not confirmed, just an idea. I can see why though; “Fibromyalgia has also been linked to fatigue, sleep problems, headaches, depression, and anxiety” (thanks US National Library of Medicine).

Pain management doctor has said I absolutely have to do some kind of exercise as part of the plan of attack against my headaches. So I’m going to try pilates; some ‘mat work’ and some ‘reformer’. The way it claims to strengthen and protect the muscles is right up my alley, as the physio said that some of my neck/shoulder muscles were too weak, others too strong, and putting strain on the part of a human’s spine that most often causes headaches. I’ve signed up to the pilates classes and hope that the gym girl’s enthusiasm and recommendations are true. However I’ve heard “This will definitely help you!” before, only to flummox the various practitioners when my pain persists. But ever the optimist I believe the promise every time ;)

So that’s the background for these two motivational embroidery pieces in the lounge room now. One more may be coming – “Be thankful every day” is the other phrase I had in mind. Because even though I have these headaches, I know that it could always be worse. I could have a constant migraine, unable to face the world, sights or sounds, and on the edge of suicide. I could be terminally, cripplingly ill with something that science has no cure for and with a family that couldn’t care less. I could be alone, unloved.

Instead I have a husband and parents who do what they can to support me; take me to see specialists if I ask them to, understand when I’m just not feeling up to something because the headaches are too much to handle sometimes, and who don’t question or doubt if my pain is real. I have a job that knows roughly what’s going on with me, so they understand when I take a half day off to see a doctor (though I use my ‘annual leave’ for it) or have to take time off to recover from something. I have the resources to pay for doctor appointments and private health insurance. I live in a city where there are specialists. And the hope is that if I try something then it will lead me to something else, which may lead me to something else, which may one day lead me to the cure for these headaches.

this too shall pass

effort + reward